Easter is just over. Lingering in my head is a happy bunny. Who doesn’t want to be a happy bunny – always happy, contented and satisfied with life.
Be happy after having money
When we are living hand to mouth or have piles of loans to repay, we don’t have the luxury to think whether we are happy or not. We only have one simple goal in mind: survival.
When I was new in Singapore, I also had bills to pay, a student loan to settle, and need money to send home. Sometimes I felt at a loss. But I still had moments of happiness and satisfaction. The good thing about being young is: There is always hope and optimism.
Years later, with some luck in property investment, I didn’t have to worry about money anymore. Gradually, maintaining good health and mental well-being began to take priority. Who wants more money if it can’t give you health and happiness?
A celebrity once fell into deep depression. She asked herself one question: Am I successful? I have beauty, talent, fame and wealth. I am a top singer and actress. But I am unhappy. If I can’t be happy, I am not successful. The answer is obvious.
Imagine you have tons of money, live in a big house and drive a flashy car. But when you look out of the window, you notice that even the worker heading home from work or the deliveryman riding through the streets look much happier than you. Isn’t that sad?
Are Singaporeans happy?
Five years ago, I wrote the blog post “Is property the reason why Singapore is not among the happiest countries in the world?”. The post garnered over 19,000 views.
As a general rule, people don’t read any write-up that they don’t relate to. Does that imply many Singaporeans are not that happy with life?
Besides, people are not interested to find out more about what they have already accomplished: When you are financially-free, you don’t think about financial freedom anymore. If you are a millionaire, you don’t read articles teaching others how to be one. When you have a stable and loving relationship, you don’t spend time googling how you can be loved. If you and people around you are happy, who cares whether Singapore is or isn’t among the happiest countries?
– “Is property the reason why Singaporeans are not among the smartest in the world?”, Propertysoul.com
The 2022 country ranking of happiness is based on a 3-year average between 2019 and 2021. As expected, countries in the top spots in World Happiness Report 2022 are Finland, Demark and Iceland. For the Asia Pacific countries, New Zealand and Australia occupy the 10th and 12th position respectively. Taiwan is the 26th happiest country, followed by Singapore on the 27th place.
Note that Singapore ranked only 49th in the previous report. Our happiness index is much higher this time because life (and death rate) in Singapore during the pandemic is not too bad compared with other countries.
Why are Singaporeans unhappy?
However, a 2021 study shows that Singaporeans are the unhappiest workers in the world. Nearly one in two employees are unhappy. Another 2022 study tells us that more Singaporeans are dissatisfied with their job and suffer poorer mental health compared with their counterparts in Indonesia and the Philippines. A 2015 World Health Organization study found Singapore with the highest rate of depression in Asia. From April 2022 to February 2023, Samaritans of Singapore intervened and saved 114 people from ending their life, an average of one person every three days.
Singapore is an affluent country with the second highest GDP per capita. We have the world’s highest percentage of millionaires. Our 89 percent home ownership rate is the second highest in the world.
Why are Singaporeans still not happy?
Goodfeed’s article “8 brutally uncensored reasons why some S’poreans are always unhappy” tries to give us an answer:
1) Because they need someone to blame for their incompetence
2) Because their friends are always unhappy, too
3) Because they want to vent their frustration online
4) Because they always set crazily high goals
5) Because they feel that Singapore is too competitive
6) Because living expenses are relatively high
7) Because they’re always comparing
8) Because they’ve been unhappy for too long, and forget how to be happy
The last reason may imply anhedonia – the loss of ability to feel pleasure which is a common symptom of depressive disorder.
During our kampong days, we might be materially deprived. But adults and children alike were happier. We didn’t have that much stress. Everybody had many mouths to feed and no time for depression. We were too busy solving everyday problems or helping others to do so.
The sad truth is: Money can’t buy happiness. Wealth can’t fill our heart’s emptiness.
Housing option is just a personal choice
Two months ago, a driver parked the car outside a house in a landed housing estate. The plan was to stay with the mother living in a nearby HDB block. Three days later, the car owner returned and found a handwritten note that read “You don’t belong this neighborhood. Please remove your car”.
The report said the car owner expressed “indignant anger” for such “appalling behavior”.
“I could not believe that in Singapore, someone would feel so self-entitled and have to qualms writing a note like this … we were all really disappointed at how stratified Singapore society truly is.”
I re-read the whole story and couldn’t understand what is worth to be angry. At the very least, the car owner enjoyed three days’ of free parking in lieu of the parking fee from the HDB public carpark.
If I were the car owner, I would ask whether I was obstructing or taking up the usual parking lot of the house owner for three days. This is the same as placing flower pots in the corridor outside an HDB flat for more sunlight even though I don’t stay there. If in doubt, just ask for permission as a courtesy.
On the contrary, the house owner was not upset and used the polite word “please” in the note. At most there was a diction and grammatical error for the word “belong (to)” when “stay in” is a better option.
On a separate note, we should learn to be proud of our residence. Whether we are staying in a landed house, a condo unit or an HDB flat is purely a personal choice. None of the housing options implies that the residents are privileged in any way unless one chooses to believe so.
Money doesn’t come with civic sense
Lately, a Mercedes Benz parked at a housing estate was obstructing the passing of a garbage truck. The truck driver had to press the bell of all nearby houses to find the car driver.
Garbage trucks have a tight schedule. Drivers pay a fine if they are late for their next assignment. If the obstructing driver cannot be found, the truck driver has to reverse all the way to the end of the street.
Finally, the visitor driver was found. But he refused to shift his car. Someone had to call the police to prevent a fight.
Another proof that money doesn’t always come with civic sense. When do we stop being gracious to others?
Channel NewsAsia came up with the article “Landed property owners resigned to parking situation, urge people to be considerate”. Some visitors took it to social media to complain about landed owners using objects to “chope” parking space outside their house. LTA replied that they adopt a community approach towards resolving conflicts. They will ensure that the objects do not pose a safety hazard or an obstruction to other users.
Personally, I don’t mind visitors parking outside our house. We only bought the land up to the gate. The parking space outside is for the public and first come, first served.
Nonetheless, “chope” is a Singapore culture which is socially acceptable here and a commonplace in hawker centers and food courts. Similarly, placing personal belongings in HDB corridors is also a common scene. So I have to respect the local culture and accept landed owners who opt to do so.
Maybe we can learn from the Japanese and practise Omoiyari. Be considerate and put ourselves in the shoes of others. Try to think from others’ perspective. Above all, be self-aware and avoid causing inconvenience to other people.
My personal experience of visitor parking
One day, a visitor parked outside our house at a distance away from the kerb. When the garbage truck couldn’t pass, it kept horning and pressing the bell of houses on both sides of the street. After some time, it still couldn’t locate the driver. At the end, some neighbors had to shift their cars for the truck to go through.
That was the story I was told. A few days later, my husband handed me a big box of chocolates. Apparently, a visitor apologized to him for causing obstruction the other day. He was inspecting the renovation of his new house in another street. Later, he was told by a neighbor that the house owner was angry about his parked car causing inconvenience to others.
Although I was not the angry owner, the kids asked whether they could keep the chocolates.
I ended up holding the box of chocolates, pressing the bell of all our neighbors under the hot sun. Unfortunately, none of them admitted that they were the one being angry in the incident. At the end, I left the gift with a neighbor who volunteered to take over to help find the right person.
We plan to put up a sign outside our house to warn visitors of the garbage truck. Sorry kids. No free chocolate.
What can make us happy again?
Back to the question: We have money and we own our homes. But are we happy?
The Harvard Study of Adult Development conducts the world’s longest study on happiness. The research started 75 years ago in 1938. It studied up to three generations to find out what makes a satisfying life and what does not.
This is what their latest findings say about money:
“Money can’t buy us happiness, but it’s a tool that can give us security and safety and a sense of control over lives. At the end of the day, life is really about our connections with others. It’s our relationships that keep us happy.”
“Rather than buying a bigger house or a nicer car, if you use your money to share experiences with others, that money will get you a better return on happiness.”
The latest World Happiness Report just marks its 10th anniversary since it started in 2012. What it said a decade ago about what makes people in a country happy is still valid today.
“A household’s income counts for life satisfaction, but only in a limited way. Other things matter more: community trust, mental and physical health, and the quality of governance and rule of law. Raising incomes can raise happiness, especially in poor societies, but fostering cooperation and community can do even more, especially in rich societies that have a low marginal utility of income. It is no accident that the happiest countries in the world tend to be high-income countries that also have a high degree of social equality, trust, and quality of governance.”
– World Happiness Report 2012
Life is short. We can only live once. Finding true and lasting satisfaction in life is important at any time, and in good or bad times.
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Yes..in an interview with Archbishop William Goh on sunday Times.. we will b happy if we live for others….not just ourselves besides being believers of God or yr own faith..
.and i agree with the Bishop even though im a Catholic too. All religions teach us good and help others beside ourselves..
If landed hosing are plan in single row, a row of houses front facing next row of houses back instead of back-to-back as common in Singapore, may have solved some of nonboring issues especially parking. The font part before the gate with a row of perpendicular parking, think can allocate 3 to 4 cars for each unit. A row of trees can be planted between the covered drainage system and road with rubbish bin space accessible from a small gate behind each house. Depending on land size, it can be a one-way street or two-ways street. The only concern to the developers is costs but can be easily recover from selling price.
Very good recommendation. To add on, developers might have a different priority. They need to optimize the land plot to build as many houses as possible for maximum profit. In the midst of this, parking space, open area, greenery, etc. are sacrificed. It also depends on the original land use of the site. For example, if it is originally an industrial estate, they may find it too expensive to widen or rebuild all the roads for the landed houses.
The government, Ministry of National Development should instruct its’ authorities like URA, BCA together with SLA, LTA, NPB, NEA, PUB, etc. to work together and set guidelines for developers to follow. Another important factor is fire safety. Spreading of fire is limited to one row only and SCDF can access from front & back of the houses. To the developers, profit maximization still possible as buyers got to pay for new benchmark pricing for houses like that. Something like GCB which lands are also underutilized but expensive.
a coin has two or three sides …. until & unless the person “is in the shoes” of the “interested party” and not mere arm-chair commentator ….. life is not so simple. Such a polemic topic …. not taking any sides n have been “interested party or stakeholder” on the different-sides for some time.
To digress topic … anyone guilty of having (petrol/diesel engine) vehicle-engine running while stationary at any car park in residential area, regardless landed or HDB?