Tonight inside this dimly lit bar with deafening music, you emptied a bottle of liquor without uttering a single word. Guys drink when they stress over money and relationship. Obviously, you have no luck in both now.
First impressions are deceiving
From day one when you told me that you fell for this high maintenance girl from a foreign country, I knew you are going to have an exciting but challenging relationship.
You should have looked beyond the surface. First impressions could be deceiving. You know how everyone dressed up to look their best on those occasions. And you only got to see her good side for a few days before you flied back.
It is similar to selling an overseas property in another country. They always give you a perfect first impression of a world-class property development. They show you how promising the project is. Just see how it is featured in a professionally-filmed video, followed by a convincing speech, all in the cozy environment of a five-star hotel.
Over one weekend at the show, they try every effort to arouse your interest and collect sales leads from potential buyers like you. But the reality is: Compared with the locals, you know nothing much about the country, the location, the developer and the project.
Cost less ≠ Will work
You said a long-distance relationship suits you better because of your busy work schedule. It requires less of your time compared with having to go out often with a local girl.
What make you think that a relationship will work just because it takes up less of your time? Are you looking for a better solution or is it just an excuse to start it off?
It is just like buying a private property. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. You don’t go for an alternative simply because it looks affordable. Foreign properties may cost less but they can be cheap for a reason. Whether it can generate good return should be your number one consideration. Afterall, you are investing with your hard-earned money.
After buying an overseas property, you still have to pay the housing mortgage, stamp duty, management fee and property taxes in foreign currency. And managing the property, agent and tenant in another country by long-distance can take up more of your money, time and efforts.
Making that foreign relationship work
I’ve been there myself. I understand exactly how it’s like to settle down with someone from another country with a different cultural background.
At first everything is exotic and interesting. Then you enter the stage of constant fact-finding. After the intermittent cultural shock, you soon grow tired of accommodating all the differences. You either give up or continue to compromise and self-adjust until it works.
But there are already enough challenges in life. Why take the hard way? If that country has a special place in your heart, just travel there regularly for vacation. You like something doesn’t mean that you have to own it.
Is it worth the price?
You are now at the critical stage of building up your career. You really can’t afford to spend so much time and money to travel in between two cities.
From what you told me, she likes to be showered with expensive gifts. She should look for a generous multi-millionaire who doesn’t mind paying any price. Please stop being a sugar daddy or you will end up with nothing but in deeper debt.
I know many guys dream to have a model girlfriend or a trophy wife. It is the packaging, positioning and perceived image that make them look irresistible. But the truth is: Your dream girl is just the showcase of a priceless masterpiece in a museum. Admiring it on display and trying to fit it in your home are completely two different things.
It is funny that whenever they make it difficult to own something, people will queue up for it regardless of its real value. Remember that latest handphone model marketed with much hype? Are those latest functions really worth the price? What is that model to you a few years or even months down the road?
Sorry to say that but your relationship with that girl is no different from buying those mass market private property projects launched these few years. You are asked to pay a premium price, give a high deposit and commit to a big mortgage for many years. But you only realize after you collect the key to the unit that your flat’s usable area in square feet is simply miserable.
Go for the available and affordable option
And what’s wrong with the no-frills local girls? Aren’t they not equally good if not better as girlfriends, wives and mothers? They are in good supply and are readily available here. Frankly, whether you marry a local or a foreign girl, aren’t they serve the same purpose and functions?
Can you imagine a young couple who just started working not long but insist on buying that unattainably-priced EC or condo as their first home? What’s wrong with applying for an HDB flat? Why give up your ‘citizenship entitlement’ to pay for an overpriced private flat? Isn’t an HDB flat and a condo unit both give them a home?
If you find that this relationship doesn’t worth your effort, please move on. Don’t wait till it’s too late to cut loss. When you are finally forced to let go one day, your investment in the whole venture can turn out to be very expensive for you.
You asked why I keep nagging when you should be the one whining. With my words drowned by the background noise, you couldn’t really get what I was saying.
It’s time to go home. Shall we?
You are right… Many of us are just overconfident that we know all until we are burnt .
Absolutely. The message of the post: Don’t fall in love blindly with a property. Have to look beyond the marketing to see what you are getting into.
You are right… Many of us are just overconfident that we know all until we are burnt .
Absolutely. The message of the post: Don’t fall in love blindly with a property. Have to look beyond the marketing to see what you are getting into.
Happily married with my foreigner wife and living overseas. If you can’t adapt, don’t complain. That is a loser mentality.
Relax. It is just a metaphor. We are talking about property investment here.
Good for you. I am also a “converted” Singaporean happily married to an “authentic” one for over ten years : ) Am counting my blessings every day!
Just my two cents: unlike in a competition, love has nothing to do with winners or losers, but more about love, don’t love, being loved and not being loved.
Happily married with my foreigner wife and living overseas. If you can’t adapt, don’t complain. That is a loser mentality.
Relax. It is just a metaphor. We are talking about property investment here.
Good for you. I am also a “converted” Singaporean happily married to an “authentic” one for over ten years : ) Am counting my blessings every day!
Just my two cents: unlike in a competition, love has nothing to do with winners or losers, but more about love, don’t love, being loved and not being loved.
Thank you for the sharing . Real Facts . Very Well Written
Hi Grace, you are most welcome. And thank you for your compliment!
Thank you for the sharing . Real Facts . Very Well Written
Hi Grace, you are most welcome. And thank you for your compliment!
Hahaa bravo! You write very well. I enjoy your writing; both for content and style. Positively tickled.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. You keep me writing!
Hahaa bravo! You write very well. I enjoy your writing; both for content and style. Positively tickled.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. You keep me writing!
Hi PS, I happened to be at the table next to you in the dimly lit bar that day.
I empathise w your male friend over his situation; I can certainly understand where he was coming from.
I am happily married to a “no-frills” local girl, & believe that she is the best choice for me. However, I must say that others don’t always agree.
“Oh BTO, public housing ah.”, “Oh, gahmen flat ah, good meh. why don’t buy private?” w a tinge of skepticism were some of the comments my local girl & I got when people asked what our housing plans were. We also received remarks like, “Eh, Ah Beng & Ah Seng both bought new condos leh. They are your peers, you ok w BTO ah. Later people think you doing not as well as them.”
Some tend to view the high-maintenance girl from a foreign country as being more sexy & desirable, & wouldn’t even bat an eyelid when they see my “no-frills”, “mundane”, “boring” local girl. But that actually suits me very well, as she is then all for me to enjoy. I need to mention though, that I have a 5-year MOP to deal with.
It was pretty late when I stepped out of the bar that night after your male friend & you left. As I walked to my car, I knew very well that I would likely have to drive quite a few rounds up the multi-storey car park to get an available lot, given the time. I would also need to do a short walk from the carpark to my home. This, as opposed to the convenience of a private basement carpark in an EC or private condo. But then again, it suits me pretty fine. I take it as a form of exercise, & to wind down the day’s events mentally. More importantly, the thought of my sweet, beautiful “no frills” local girl waiting at home for me just keeps me going!
Hi PS, I happened to be at the table next to you in the dimly lit bar that day.
I empathise w your male friend over his situation; I can certainly understand where he was coming from.
I am happily married to a “no-frills” local girl, & believe that she is the best choice for me. However, I must say that others don’t always agree.
“Oh BTO, public housing ah.”, “Oh, gahmen flat ah, good meh. why don’t buy private?” w a tinge of skepticism were some of the comments my local girl & I got when people asked what our housing plans were. We also received remarks like, “Eh, Ah Beng & Ah Seng both bought new condos leh. They are your peers, you ok w BTO ah. Later people think you doing not as well as them.”
Some tend to view the high-maintenance girl from a foreign country as being more sexy & desirable, & wouldn’t even bat an eyelid when they see my “no-frills”, “mundane”, “boring” local girl. But that actually suits me very well, as she is then all for me to enjoy. I need to mention though, that I have a 5-year MOP to deal with.
It was pretty late when I stepped out of the bar that night after your male friend & you left. As I walked to my car, I knew very well that I would likely have to drive quite a few rounds up the multi-storey car park to get an available lot, given the time. I would also need to do a short walk from the carpark to my home. This, as opposed to the convenience of a private basement carpark in an EC or private condo. But then again, it suits me pretty fine. I take it as a form of exercise, & to wind down the day’s events mentally. More importantly, the thought of my sweet, beautiful “no frills” local girl waiting at home for me just keeps me going!
Whether you want to go for foreign high-maintenance girls or no-frills local girls are personal choices. The most important thing is to pick the one who is suitable (and affordable) for you and you also feel comfortable being with.
Whether you want to go for foreign high-maintenance girls or no-frills local girls are personal choices. The most important thing is to pick the one who is suitable (and affordable) for you and you also feel comfortable being with.